A Slice of American Pie: Part 3
The Red Hat Society

America has always boasted secret societies – the Klu Klux Klan, the order of Masons and The Underground Railroad to name a few. Today was my initiation into a new secret society for women over 50. I walked smack into what appeared to be the headquarters of the Red Hat Society on Main Street, Dayton, Washington.

Friends from Walla Walla (no derogatory comments on the name from a country that boasts Puke Puke as one of their own towns) had hopped on their motorcycle to escort us out of town (that really does sound like the Wild West) as we continued east. Jay thought we were going to have coffee at a gas station. This is a country where servers (isn’t that so much simpler than wait-people?) still circulate the restaurants with pots of real coffee. But I was determined to at least upgrade the location to a café. The discovery of the Red Hat Society was the cream in my morning tea.

Though open to all women over 50, there are requirements – all of which could be met in the Patit Valley Products gift-shop-come-café. You have to wear red hats, a purple dress and be prepared for fun. Glamorous red hats of all descriptions perched on racks, escorted by hat boxes, t-shirts and even a rhinestone pin that said “The Red Hat Society.” Its roots lie in the famous poem by Jenny Joseph “When my friends and I are old, we shall wear purple …and a red hat”. Maybe even a boa or two.

It is a “multi-chapter’disorganization’” that began in 2000 with their creed: “ … we believe silliness is the comedy relief of life and, since we are all in it together, we might as well join red-gloved hands and go for the gusto together. Underneath the frivolity, we share a bond of affection, forged by common life experiences and a genuine enthusiasm for wherever life takes us next.” It has apparently taken them to three national conventions (including the Hats off to Harmony in good ole Nashville which included a Howdy Hootenanny, Tennessee Tea, Jammie Jamboree and finally the Regal RoundUp.” The founder, Sue Ellen Cooper, penned a book called The Red Hat Society: Fun and Friendship After 50. Upon further sleuth work on the website (www.redhatsociety.com) I discovered the initial seed that grew into this huge tree. Sue Ellen, known as the Queen Mother, bought a charming old red fedora for a friend’s birthday and presented it to her along with a framed copy of the poem. The idea spread.

And it is not so secret after all. There are branches all over America, and perhaps the world. This particular branch celebrates annually with a luncheon on April Fools’ Day after which they parade the main street in full dress. It is rumoured that next year there is a male threatening to gate crash – nay, not as a streaker – but dressed in a purple t-shirt and red baseball cap, so desperate is he to be part of the fun. Upon examining the fine print of the poem, he discovered a loophole. It only says “dress in purple” and not purple dresses.

Lest you think they are discriminatory to younger women, those under 50 are invited to join the Pink Hatters in Lusty Lavender. Only upon gaining official status at 50 may you wear the colours of Red and Purple.

With 2 distressed men searching frantically for escape, my over-50-friend and I gleefully accepted the proprietor’s offer to do a photo shoot on Main Street using the motorcycles and Red Hat Society attire as props. This seemed meant-to-be as I am accessorized with accents of red on my Harley motorcycle attire, including cute new gloves (because my other ones are somewhere in New Zealand) with red finger tips that I try to pass off as nail polish. Having effectively stopped traffic, the feathered red hats and boas were sadly returned to the racks, but I climbed triumphantly back up onto my pillion seat with new red jeweled sun glasses. I felt like Dorothy in her red shoes – I wonder where my new glasses will take me if I blink two times.

And I can hear the shaking of Kiwi heads from here thinking “only in America.” Well, for all your doubters and wicked-witches-of-the-west, there are no less than 6 official chapters in New Zealand, no doubt with the numbers spreading as fast as gorse. (Has anyone seen Helen Clark in a red hat lately?)

We turn south towards Salt Lake City.